Psalms written by Timothy Lavenz
The Lord is my accompaniment,
I shall walk no path alone.
My breast is his tabernacle,
my tongue is his sword.
He has made me to house him
and sing his song.
Therefore will I sing all the days of my life
proclaiming his goodness and mercy!
Far and wide will I spread the bounties of his wisdom,
for he has saved me from the desolation in my soul.
Shelter he gives me in the bosom of his Spirit;
his promptings, I know, are never wrong.
With silence and whisperings he guides me.
Whatever he releases, I let go.
Blessed indeed is the man steadfast in the Lord!
Measured are his steps to the scale of God’s peace,
for he has never let his servant go astray;
He honors all his promises with abundances overflowing,
that his Word never depart from our lips.
Gracious is He who gives life!
Truly, his ways are not our ways,
Yet he gives us the ears to hear him
and the patience to live within his Grace.
Blessed is he who trusts in him for deliverance!
Truly, his motion is free!
All praise to thee, most high Benefactor
all my sources and resources are yours.
I look above and below, in front and behind,
and whose light do I see but your own?
Make haste to heal mine eyes of their beam,
that I see nothing but you in all things!
The angels compose unheard hymns to your glory.
What is this, that my fallen ears can hear?
Your might is the source of all humility,
your humility the source of our life.
You have given me your Moment in Time —
my absolute Wonder keeps increasing!
You pierce my lips to speak your mind —
Now hold nothing back! Pierce me deeper!
Consume my whole life story and rhyme
that in seeing me they will see you only!
Lord of Hosts, my one master Divine,
yours is the Body I desire to know.
Yours is the Blood I long to drink to the full;
you make my emptiness a blessed rose.
Water me, O infinite mind, with your love
that my mind might bloom to your proportions!
Slash from me every branch that offends you,
unite me without fail to your design!
It is your purpose I must signal into the fore,
your wind I must catch from every side.
To thee is all honor, great origin of Being!
Those who flee you are caught by your justice.
Those who flee to you rejoice in your refuge.
O Merciful unending, who can hear this praise?
Where is the servant to shamelessly adore?
His hand you will hold as he runs through the fire
And realizes the Idea you have conceived,
The perfection you weave from the mass of evil.
Strengthen me, then, I pray of my core;
I pray thee, do not lose remembrance of me!
Your perseverance I need to answer this call,
your answer I need to believe.
Please, Father, let not my life go unfinished!
Holy Spirit, magnifier of all,
pray in me the truth
to enter into truth where I am not.
There is no creature smaller than me;
my smallness is upheld
with yet more smallnesses.
Above my head I see more ground;
buried is my corpse
beneath yet more bodies of death.
I have no grip on things;
my words have lost their power;
my feet do not move across the ground.
I am like the stone the builders rejected
which has not become a cornerstone
but broke apart into rubble upon rubble.
Exchange me for you, great One!
Strain me into solutions of your name;
pulverize me into your powders;
sanctify the complications I have made.
I am a sequence of lost failures
without your touch;
I am a being without place
unless your genius place me.
Come, Holy Spirit,
listen to the plea of my scorched heart!
Piece me back together what I’ve broken.
Lead me to drink
where I am found.
Lord, the landscape of my soul is dereliction.
My eyes sag like heavy boulders from my face,
My limbs drag and sink midday.
No words come to my mouth to praise you.
On every side the father of lies is at their lips.
They have made good appearances of care for you
But they turn away when first they can!
No, my spurned heart cannot believe them.
Yes, they wave their banners and show relics,
They fill warehouses with books about your name.
Regalia covers every altar of the house.
But where, where is the saint who is dead?
Lord, I am dead in You, forever – may it be so!
Who can tell my longings belong not here?
Within these fabled walls, I find not my home.
I have no den or lair. I have no world.
They see my shadow moving and talking yet,
but the human far within has drawn away.
When will they see, eternity’s effaced me?
When will they understand, no days remain?
How lost I am without You, Sacred Compass!
But better lost forever in your search
Than to settle a false haven made of sludge
And fool myself, thinking it your blood.
My nourishment on earth is sole: it is your Heav’n.
I cannot dwell on stories of your servants!
I cannot sit and ogle created things!
Your endless beauty is the only grace there is.
Unknown, then, will I travel this land of idols
With your absence better than every half-truth.
I will excel in the discernment of the emptiness,
And never take the bait for less than you.
I will see you, though every eye be closed.
I will love you, though every heart be clogged.
I will know you, though every mind resist.
I will hope in you, every promise, though I fail,
For the hope you put within me is invincible.
I need no more example than your Son.
I will let my body down. In faith you’ll raise it.
I will not waste one moment on my cross.
Father of all honesty, source of all wealth,
I testify today, for all time, to all the world:
Outside your grace, every moment is a ruin!
In my flesh the false will insists upon its designs.
In my mind false thoughts keep on spinning.
I’m driven from hell to hell without You.
What pride I had, to think your favor would remain
When I myself chose to look down and away;
When I had drifted off to sing my own refrains!
But there is no real song – no real peace! –
Outside your grace, in the unity of our wills.
What fright of life, when I do not surrender fully!
Then do my eyes go anxiously to created things.
My trust in you gradually depletes and disperses
Whenever I seek solutions on my lonesome.
But my lonesome is not yours, my Lord, it is selfish.
Alone I am afeard, defensive, unbuckled from love.
Left to my own wiles, it all pales into deceit.
No, I cannot lift my eyes to you, unless you help.
Only with your guidance does my soul find reform.
Only in your riches does my lowly life have worth.
Yet I yearn to sanctify and serve, help me remember:
Nothing in existence rivals you. There is no greater warmth,
No healthier harbor to give shelter from the storm.
Increase my faith then, O God! I implore you in my loss.
Rid me of my need to have a self and life apart!
Purge from me the desire to know ought but you!
In your strength, lead me to the consecration you require
Till I’m dissolved in you, the Incomprehensible –
My time in your time, my joy in your joy.
Leave nothing left of me, Lord, save your grace at work:
For your grace is You Yourself, the All-Sustaining.
Your grace is my only source – my only truth.
The Word of God is my fortress,
I have no need to quest for truth.
Within His walls I’m ample—
The stealth of Spirit is my proof.
His lips have built my confidence,
His bones are my whole worth.
I walk within His vision of me,
His presence worship in every choice.
Nothing in my world happens
Save He claim it with His name!
For He has gone to Hell for me;
I count His heart my place.
The Word of God, He shapes me—
I’ll never speak alone again—
Only to praise this home in me He’s created
Where all suffering makes saint.
Restore to me the grace of your presence, Lord,
and I will praise you with all my inner wind.
In the time of my pride and anger,
I doubted you, Lord, and you hid your face.
My soul sank into the grave
skeptical and wary of trusting love.
In darkness I saw only my injuries.
Blind to my offenses, I rejected your open arms.
A pall of regrets covered up your sacred name
And in a rage I woke, unable to weep.
But you, Lord, did not leave me to the shadows.
In my fret and distress, you lifted a rose,
Chant of your most blessed daughter,
and lightened the sharp edge of my tongue.
You led me down the path of reconciliation
Though rejection was all I deserved
When I was not yet capable of loving truth.
Praise be to you who are not fickle
Who endures the ever-fickle heart of man!
Your kindness I abuse, yet you hold me steadfast.
You shower down most graces when I fail.
You raise me up from the shadows
And your light restores my heart’s prayer.
May I remember, when in silence I move no more,
When I do not grieve nor look ahead,
Your presence floods back within my chest
Where lives the future hope only you can give,
The daily bread I need that I may rest.