Be glad whenever you give yourself to the emptiness and wait upon the Lord. All our jumping in to the next thing, even in the minutia of eating, watching videos, going out into the world, is mostly a nervousness, an anxiety that drives us to resist the emptiness that’s required to receive the Lord. The ability to open and receive, to empty out, to rest in that surrender. Not know, not do, not even be (in a particular way). That anxiety is what drives people to fill the silence with words, with activity, with knowing, with the bulk of all activity. The ability to gather one’s “resources” of presence into one singular point is advanced. And it takes the ongoing discipline and practice of resting in that moment over and over again. How easy it is to leave the Yes by our habituated modern life! Even when we strive to be as good as possible, there’s still so much more to go. We can have moments when we ‘realize’ the possibility of ‘being’ in that space even whilst engaged in the world but that is pure grace and it’s rare. We can cultivate an affinity, an aptitude but God is who gives us any entry through that narrow gate. It’s far ‘easier’ without the distractions. Learning to fall into the silence amidst the distractions is an edge we can run with but it takes many moons of discipline in the intentional to be ready to receive the grace if/when it comes. Without that preparation, even if it comes, we wouldn’t recognize it.
September 3, 2022